Annecy Baez

Flowing

My husband kneels before me opens my legs
and rests his head upon my right thigh
I stroke his face his beard and trace with the tip of my
index finger the shape of his nose
I caress his bald head where gray wiry hairs
fight back the test of time
I kiss his bald spot as if my kisses could make
things grow
Overwhelmed as I am by my loving feelings for him
I take a deep breath and think of love
how precious it is when one is present and
it is happening
Love
so calm like the flow of the river in the morning
The river
muddy ice at times thick turbulent waves at others
like love unpredictable
And because of this
I enjoy this time of loving breathing in this memory
to retrieve it like a jewel when the time comes

(First published in John Hopkins University's Literary Journal Callaloo 23.3 (2000) 979)


For a Long Time When I was a Child

For a long time when I was a child I slept with my father every
night it was something he discouraged, but quietly encouraged
with his acceptance

I would sneak out of my room ready to battle the dark shadows
of spirits only children are known to see and I would pray a prayer
my father taught me a prayer that was a shield from danger and I
would pray this prayer about a Guardian Angel and I'd run through
the hall of darkness into his bedroom

When I arrived I would catch my child-like breath gather my
thoughts together and calm my little beating heart
I would have battled any monster any demon or ghost for the
chance of having my father's body next to mine

Once near him I would sink into the hollow of his back
curl there like a fetus growing straight out of his spine
and when he moved in his sleep I would clench my leg upon his
hip to make sure he would not leave me

My leg there cropped on top of his hairy thigh was an emotional
alarm clock any movement he made would immediately register to
my heart and I would awaken from the deepest sleep for it was as
if in sleeping with him I was sheltered from the cold hands of
death for he was to me both mother and father he was my safety
my life force

My father never betrayed my trust he was awed by the strength of
my love my devotion later when my mind grew to be a woman's
mind and I had thoughts other than the ones that came from him
it was then he felt utterly betrayed by my womanhood.

This poem appears online at: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3299698


My Parents Room

My parents' room was small with the scent of camphor sticks and
bay rum for my mother suffered from many ailments some real
and others imaginary

Above one of the bureaus was my father's precious altar
with a smiling Buddha and a porcelain statue of La Virgencita de la
Altagracia who stood quietly in the silence with Jose looking
perplexed and staring at baby Jesus

I could swear La Virgencita knew my moves understood my
thoughts in the center of the altar a candle remained lit all night
long surrounded by faded sepia photographs of dead or lost
relatives and wrinkled prayers to heal old wounds

La Virgencita's light brown eyes seemed real for they glittered in
the darkness while the candle below her flickered startled by my
sight many times I thought I heard La Virgencita speak to me
and stare at me with disapproving eyes

On those nights I dared to run through the hall of ghosts and
penetrate myself between the warmth of my parents to taste with
my senses the feel of my father on those nights I never dared to
look at La Virgencita's eyes

Instead I stared at the floor or the profile of my father willing to
kiss him and implore his forgiveness for the deep child-like
longings I had for him and on those nights I would quickly throw
myself in between my parents without forethought or strategy

Luckily my mother often stirred in her sleep and faced the wall
and I would feel such a relief and intense personal triumph
as if I had secretly won some unknown battle against her.

This poem appears online at: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3299697


About the Author

My name is Annecy Baez, I am an educator, psychotherapist, artist and writer, author of "My Daughter’s Eyes and Other Stories". My poems and short stories have appeared in periodicals, including the anthologies "Vinyl Donuts", from the National Book Foundation, as well as "Brújula/Compass and Tertuliando/Hanging Out", a bilingual literary anthology published by Hunter Caribbean Studies and Latinarte; “Butterfly Kisses” appeared in "Riverine: Anthology of Hudson Valley Writers", edited by Laurence Carr, Codhill Press; and translated in Spanish as “Besos de Mariposas” and appeared in "Viajeros del Rocio", edited by Rubén Sánchez Féliz. “The Red Shoes”, was translated by Ruth Herrera and appeared in Spanish as “Tacones Rojos” in "Caudal", a literary journal in the Dominican Republic. My story “The Silence of Angels” and my poetry, "Flowing", "My Parents Room" and "For a Long Time When I Was a Child", appeared in "Callaloo", a literary journal based at Johns Hopkins University.

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